Glimpse of youth

When I opened my eyes I asked myself,
When do we start to be conscious of ourselves, of the world surrounding, of reality.
How much time we loose trying to create a world in our heads, a world that never existed.
Utopias that suits us better than what we have to face with our naive eyes.
Being young, a gift life gave us, something we are never really aware of until it
slowly abandon our skin... and sometimes our souls.
How much time we loose...

Feeling like life is just starting, so many things, so many new sensations.
Young love, free passionate and pure.
Young smile, wide and sincere.
Young strenght, short and powerfull.

What do we aim for? Being invincible?
Being strong? Forever young?

Enjoy life's joys.
Smile with grace.
Run while you are still strong.
Love, love as much as you can, because that remains until you're old.

How much time we loose...

"there are things that drift away... like our endless numbered days" iron&wine-passing afternoon

Good... bad

My mouth won´t be able to explain you what happened, because even if it did, you would not understand.

The sun was high in the sky, and I was feeling sleepy.

Sometimes my brain has some serious difficulties to analyze if something is good or bad.

I know it was not bad, at least for me... but I would not like to be you at this moment.

Because I understand the how, the when and the why, but if I tried to explain it to you, you would probably surprise yourself for how nuts I am.

And...I would not like to hear it either.

Underestimated power

"Writing queen, young and sweet only seventeen..."

Listening to an inner voice that constantly allows you to decline its request
is like a picture being blurred.

Knowing that, maybe the confussion may be a consequence of years of repression
and volutary silence.

Sometimes wishing it could keep itself off... well it might work, it had worked before (if my lucidity still makes me recall past voices).

It was right this time, like it has always been.
Maybe I just mistrusted because I felt I could do its job more wisely.
I was wrong, so wrong.
I am shamelessly predictable... still think there´s a lot of things "I should´ve known better".

You see... I´ve discovered brilliant things because of it.

There is nothing like a cloudy day to enjoy the coldness of this world by facing it with a warm imperfect smile.

There is nothing like climbing up the darkest side of the moon wearing nothing but a
willing skin.

There is nothing like a passing afternoon to delineate the sky with blood red words and ease white souls lines.

Will I ever dare underestimating you?
Would I forgive myself for doing it once again?
You see, I am human.

Observing me under the glass of humanity, I am nothing but a coffee bean getting lost between the aroma of cheaper beverages.
I know I taste good but, will the coofee machine operator find me before my perfection dies?

I believe I do not care if he does or not.
You see, without coffee there would not be a coffee machine operator.
He depends on me.

I can keep on writing heart breaking idolopoeias* sitting straight, staring with dark eyes and dark hair falling like a cascade below my elbows.
Rosy cheeks and gentle hands stained with black ink.

Looking beautiful as I write.

How could I underestimate you?
Would I let myself forget I did?
You see, I am a woman.

I own you, but I owe you... femenin intuition.



Jean Baptiste



*Idolopoeia: Literary figure that consists in placing in a dead person´s mouth a speech or a dialogue.

I don’t know where I’ve been... but I know where I want to go

It´s been a while since I first woke up knowing that something had changed.
I realized that I was no longer scared of growing up.

I knew I would keep falling, but I felt stronger than ever as to know that I would always stand up with God´s help and some important people.

I knew people would leave, but some others would arrive.

I looked at myself in the mirror that same morning. I saw my clean face, no make-up, no hairdone... just the simpliflied version of me... and I LIKED IT!

I felt kinda free, no mask hiding my real beauty, my spirit feeling so pure.

I felt alive and so exited about life.

And I know... that I am small.
But who isnt? I mean, I know I still have a lot to learn, but even older people can learn a lot from me.

Its a never ending process, and I simply love it!

I felt so willing to love someone with all of my heart, even when I dont know who he will be.

I wanted to run outside and breathe the fresh air... feel it filling my young lungs.

All I wanted was to scream to the world : I am here!!! and I´ll do great things with my life.

Im not saying I´ll become next president or that I will discover a new element... Doing great things with my life means Im gonna live my life to the extreme but in my own way.
For some people my life may seem boring, for some it may be meaningless... but I know that at the end of my days I´ll look back and say Well played.

How do I know?
I just do.

So I will laugh, I will love, I will scream, I will cry, I´ll fell inlove, I´ll sing, I´ll write, I´ll be the happiest person ever.

Because I dont know where I´ve been... But now I do know where I want to go.

And I hope you can be part of it. Would you?

("First day of my life-bright eyes")