Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Always there...

Song post!
"Here, there and everywhere-The Beatles"

Yesterday when I looked into your eyes I realized something: I am scared.
I am who I am, just that. 
I am scared of what will happen when you get to know me "completely" and when the mistery I´ve never had dissapears.
What if I bore you? What if you get tired of my simpleness and gullibility? What if all of a sudden there is nothing interesting I could say or do? 
What if the spark I´ve never really had goes away?
I am scared even when I should not be worrying about it. You make it so hard for people like us to fit in because we´re never going to be smarter that you and yet as if you were not aware of it, you look at us with such charming eyes and make us long to stay there forever... I wonder, is that even possible?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Week 35 award



By being yourself.


The funny thing about this is,
that you don´t really need to try.
Your past experiences,
your past mistakes,
your past words
and past thoughts...
they all led you and made you
who you are today.
Amazing thing to understand today,
that exactly who you are
is what I sometimes need you to be.
See?
You don´t really have to try,
you help me
just by being yourself.


Jingle, thank you. This is my acceptance.
Please visit Thursday Poets Rally. Please visit Monday potluck
I´d like to nominate Fearless Dreams.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Alibi

(boring day at school... let my imagination fly. Like to create stories in my head... and tell them as if I lived them :))

Submerged voluntarily into a deep sea of confusion,
having nothing left but a narrow way out.
Holding my breath as I fight to death with my memory;
Useless memoirs... I can´t remember when it happened,
and I can´t structure any lame excuse to explain the "why".

I agreed to say it was not planned, that it simply happened and I believed it.
But indeed I had thought of the possibility, of the minimum effort it would take me to get us to the exact moment of anxiety revealed.

I smelled it from miles away, the danger was there since the very beginning: passionate personalities, time words and music, lethal dose.
I tasted it, I could enjoy its flavor burning in my lips, and yet I took possesion of the time, filled the environment with sweet feminin scent, dazzled my victim with innocent looks and moldeated my words in my hands to make them sound how they were supposed to sound.

My head high, it was my moment, my chance to prove myself something I´ve always known.

I am not guilty to the eyes of the world, confession would come too late...
I made my point, I made my move, I played somebody else´s game under my rules not by cheating, just by having the winning hand since the very start.

Would it be too much taking the whole credit if I say I manipulated every little detail?
Would it be too much considering myself as an artist if I describe the beautiful scene I stole from a song? I improved it, I created a movie scene.

I fell too, wheter I like to admit it or not.
Controled myself by loyaly following the script my well trained mind wrote.
So maybe after all the move was not completely mine, I may have left some spaces uncovered... or maybe I knew I´d love to let myself get lost into the moment.

I had prepared the stage, the lights were on, the script was memorized... I deserved to enjoy the play.
My job was done and it was fair enough to take my prize home.

The decisive moment arrived... staring, staring, staring.
Proximity felt different than what I expected.
Shivers were not agressive this time, they did not creep upon my skin, they climbed to my spirit, my soul.
It was a walk on the clouds, a blue landscape, a soft lullaby, a non burning sun, a non ticking clock, a water embrace.
Fullness ran through our veins.
We tried to take it out of our system only by taking more of it with every breathe.

By recieving an unexpected sensation, the script and everything else turned useless and less formal than what the moment required.

I closed my eyes and let myself follow my senses, no rules, just pureness.

Pureness, no evil thoughts, just tenderness.

Souls spoke, a higher level our brains couldn´t understand.
A symphony with unreachable notes and colors.
Just what it was: an instant.

The song was over, no more notes to perform.

The curtain was down, the characters became real, the script was burnt, my argument was proved, the main part was shared...

but the theatre was empty.
No one to witness my glorious victory, no one to testify my tender defeat... the secret our to keep.

Creative Commons License
Alibi by Lu Ann is licensed under a Creative Commons Atribución-No comercial-No Derivadas 3.0 Unported License.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Engagement

Mixed emotions...
Imagining how their lives would be.
Engaged... now the word has a new meaning that comes with great happiness because it is happening to someone I know.
I did not hear it on T.v, I did not read it on a book.
This is my first exposure to a real one.
Who said marriage was overated? It is something beautiful,
I do not have any dooubts.
So, hope they`ll be happy, I know they will be.
And I could not help but imagining if I will be in the same situation someday.
Well, who knows?
Anyway, it sounds like something I`d love to do. :)


Thursday, May 6, 2010

Glimpse of youth



When I opened my eyes I asked myself,
When do we start to be conscious of ourselves, of the world surrounding, of reality.
How much time we loose trying to create a world in our heads, a world that never existed.
Utopias that suits us better than what we have to face with our naive eyes.
Being young, a gift life gave us, something we are never really aware of until it
slowly abandon our skin... and sometimes our souls.
How much time we loose...

Feeling like life is just starting, so many things, so many new sensations.
Young love, free passionate and pure.
Young smile, wide and sincere.
Young strenght, short and powerfull.

What do we aim for? Being invincible?
Being strong? Forever young?

Enjoy life's joys.
Smile with grace.
Run while you are still strong.
Love, love as much as you can, because that remains until you're old.

How much time we loose...

"there are things that drift away... like our endless numbered days" iron&wine-passing afternoon


Monday, May 3, 2010

Our songs.



We got a lot of songs hun... and we don't even look out for them, they just come when they need to come.
And this one, well when it appeared into out lives, it meant nothing.
It was just a song both of us liked.
Now, as you can see in the coloured parts, there is a lot of meaning probably nobody would ever understand, but I know we do.

:)

This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach
Yours is the first face that I saw

I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don't know where I am, don't know where I've been
But
I know where I want to go


And so I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever, I especially am slow
But I realized that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home




Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange, you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up


And you said, "This is the first day of my life.
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you.
But, now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy."


So if you wanna be with me
With these things there's no telling
We'll just have to wait and see

But I'd rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery


Besides, maybe this time it's different
I mean I really think you like me...


"First day of my life-Bright eyes"

Thursday, April 29, 2010

untitled



This should not be THIS HARD!
There`s a million easy way outs.
I am not like that anymore.
I take things seriously.
So why do I feel so weird?
This is not about chosing... is about knowing exactly what I need to do according to God`s plan.

And I wish I could stop feeling a hole in my stomach... a strange but sutile pain running through my veins every single time I blink.

I hurt you right? It hurts me.

It should not be like that... is just that I dont quiet know how mend this now.
Never thought it would be this way.

And I`d love to hear your voice... I`d long to hear you say what you think about this.
Cuz I am running out of my mind!

I can not do this alone!
But I have to do it on my own!

I dont care if this time I readyou wrong... it burns me ok?

This have to mean one of two things: Are we meant for each other? If it is,well it is not gonna be the first "problem" or the first person trying to get in between.
Will you quit on me? Will I quit on you?

It is way too soon... never thought this would happen today.

Or does it mean that this is not for us?

If everything happens for a reason... well, what the hell is that REASON?!

This is hard for me... I´ve never been here before... or maybe I am just childish.

The fact is that I feel so many different things that I can`t specify which one is which.

I wish I could know... mom says great things came out from things like this.

Mom and dad came out from a situation like this... we are not mom and dad, but, what if it is true for us too?

And I dont care who reads this or who doesnt... I dont care if they know.

I miss you.

Yes, this time is direct and I dont care!

How can I miss you? I mean... it hasnt been so long.

normally I admit I would go on like this as if nothing happened, I would not care and it would be "just fine"
This time is different. I can not pretend like I dont care, I cannot go on like this and it is absolutly not right.

So.. yes I feel terrible, hope God answers soon cuz Im loosing my patience.

I dont wanna be mistaken, I want to be right...
By the way, I am sorry.


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

stupid things

just charge it to my account I hope I havent gone over my limits...
no need to scream and shout... no doubt if men are from mars... i will get to him somehow.
All I wanna do is please you, please myself by living my life too...

And all the STUPID THINGS I DO have absolutly no reflection on how I feel about you.

Yes I feel two feet small.

And this time I admit I dont know what to do.
Somehow, something is wrong... understand I just dont want to mess things up. The fact is that I cant depend on things like this.

I could not sleep either, and I dont know why I feel I should say I am sorry to someone... which? why?

Honesty, honesty.

But... this time I will just let you talk. (cuz I am interested on what you will say.)

(stupid things-jesse mcartney)

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Forgotten sensations.



Day after day, since we were born, we discover new sensations.

It goes since the very first day you breathe the air of this world, when you first open your eyes to the light, when you feel your mommy´s fingertips through your small face... to the very first moment when you feel butterflies, when your heart gets broken or when you gave your first kiss.

And some of those sensations become part of your daily life, so you barely notice them, like the taste of water in your lips or the cold you feel when you´re leaving home.

But some of them, even when happened to you more than once, just get lost into a sea of thoughts and past experiences.
They are somewhere under your skin, you´ve felt them before but maybe it´s been a while since something from the outside makes them climb upon the surface of your heart again.

And maybe years pass by and time goes on... but one day, a simple thing can recall those forgotten sensations, like feeling stupid in the sweetest way ever, or getting butterflies... or even sleeping with a smile on your face.

Those moments are worth keeping... those sensations are not meant to be forgotten.



"Like I´ve never been here before"

(You make me feel-Nathan)



Saturday, April 17, 2010

Just let her go...



Death... I am not afraid of dying, but I do everything is on my hands as to prevent it from happening.

But what I am frightened of is of people I love dying.

I know they will be with God if they accepted Jesus, so maybe what I am scared of is of what is going to happen to me without them or how am I going to feel when they leave.

I´ve only lost one beloved one in my whole short life, somebody I met since the day I was born (no exaggeration).


She was an amazing woman, so strong and beautiful and loving.
And I learned a lot from her life because despise her incapacities and her constant pain... and the tragedies of her life, she was always praising the Lord with all of her heart, you would never see her crying or complaining, but smiling and trying to make you feel comfortable.

I wish I could have said to her how much I admire her, how her life changed mine and how much I love her.

I was running out of time with each day that passed, and I knew it.

I was selfish even when I hate recognizing it I must say I could have done more, I could have given her companion... it was all she was asking for.

I could have said something nice or called her once in a while just for her to talk to me about ANYTHING she´d like me to hear.

I could have made her feel special, and part of my life.

I could have stayed with her when she was in pain, I could have read her a book or play a piano piece for her.

I could have done a million things I did not.

And I wish I could have done and said that.

The worst part is that I knew I would feel like that and still I was not able to face my fears.

The fear of not knowing what to say or do, the fear of watching her like that... or maybe the fear of loving her so much and geting so used to her when I knew she was going to leave.

I know you´re better and I am happy for you because you are where you belong, right there next to our Savior feeling no trace of the pain you had here and enjoying your eternal life.

But... I wish I could have told you.

I love you. <3 If I am crying is because I miss you... but I´ll meet you one day.


"You were just running out of time to say what was on your mind... If you can't take the pain of a broken heart, just let her go... ""

(Let her go-Craig David)



Thursday, April 8, 2010

at first sight



first watch... then read



It´s kinda funny when you think that maybe, just maybe, someone out there is meant for you.
Someone you may not know... or maybe already know.
Someone who you will be able to fall inlove evrytime you see them, even when years pass by.
Someone you dont need to remind yourself that you love them.
Some one who may be waiting for you and hoping for you to come around.
Someone you´d love to share your life with.
And you dont know when it´s gonna happen, but you´d be happy for that moment to arrive sooner or later.
Because after all, they will fill your heart and make every single step of the path you take be worth the pain only by being there right next to you. <3


Sunday, March 28, 2010

So important...



So, I was asking myself... when do you start being important for someone?

When you say something interesting?
When you blink twice to them?
When you do something nice for them?

Maybe it is when you say something or do somethin that represents an opinion or an action that may change their own opinion or even their lives.
Maybe when something yours become a part of them... something they get used to or want it to be with them, maybe then we are important for them.

But... what Im just so confused about is, when does someone starts to be important for you?

I used to think I knew... but the fact is that Im not sure anymore.

And what when someone starts to be important for you without your knowing?
Something you cant stop... something that started just because.
Does it means anything?




(Sparks : So Important )

Friday, March 26, 2010

I don’t know where I’ve been... but I know where I want to go

It´s been a while since I first woke up knowing that something had changed.
I realized that I was no longer scared of growing up.

I knew I would keep falling, but I felt stronger than ever as to know that I would always stand up with God´s help and some important people.

I knew people would leave, but some others would arrive.

I looked at myself in the mirror that same morning. I saw my clean face, no make-up, no hairdone... just the simpliflied version of me... and I LIKED IT!

I felt kinda free, no mask hiding my real beauty, my spirit feeling so pure.

I felt alive and so exited about life.

And I know... that I am small.
But who isnt? I mean, I know I still have a lot to learn, but even older people can learn a lot from me.

Its a never ending process, and I simply love it!

I felt so willing to love someone with all of my heart, even when I dont know who he will be.

I wanted to run outside and breathe the fresh air... feel it filling my young lungs.

All I wanted was to scream to the world : I am here!!! and I´ll do great things with my life.

Im not saying I´ll become next president or that I will discover a new element... Doing great things with my life means Im gonna live my life to the extreme but in my own way.
For some people my life may seem boring, for some it may be meaningless... but I know that at the end of my days I´ll look back and say Well played.

How do I know?
I just do.

So I will laugh, I will love, I will scream, I will cry, I´ll fell inlove, I´ll sing, I´ll write, I´ll be the happiest person ever.

Because I dont know where I´ve been... But now I do know where I want to go.

And I hope you can be part of it. Would you?

("First day of my life-bright eyes")