Questions...

I´ve felt misunderstood before, I am young, I know.

But don´t forget that because I am young I need guidance, I need help,

I need you to tell me I´m not wrong.

I think I understand what´s going on... you´re trying to keep me calm about it,

trying not to make me think about it more than what I do.

Don´t you know how hard it is for me? Do you think I do not know that this requires me to be careful?

Can´t you see that your silence burns bridges instead of building them?

Can´t you see that keeping your mouth shut is the worst thing you can do?

I was wrong, in reality I don´t understand you...

Why would you ask me about it? Huh?

Why would you ask?

Why let me tell you about it, about how it makes me feel, just to act as if you did not listen and walk away?

Don´t you know how important it is for me? How happy and yet afraid it makes me?

Can´t you realize that I want to share it with you?

Well, I guess I must stay in silence if that´s what you want me to do, no more attempts, so please, save yourself those questions.

"All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned

someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too,

though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory.

I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except

myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time

and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve

a realization everyone else appears to have been born with:

that I am nobody but myself."

Ralph Ellison

It is amazing.

It´s amazing, when we talk, when we sing, when we laugh.

It´s amazing when we can stay hours just breathing, because there´s no need of more.

It´s amazing when I know how I can really trust in you.

It´s amazing when it´s impossible not to learn something new with you.

It´s amazing when we can laugh and laugh with no apparent reason.

It´s amazing when a lollipop means peace between us after a discussion.

It´s amazing when I look at you and find a true friend.

I´ts amazing when I realize

how amazing it is

to be important for somebody like you.

Jingle, thank you. This is my acceptance.

Please visit Thursday Poets Rally. Please visit Monday potluck

I´d like to nominate Ladyminue

Too young.

I never really minded about ages, I was 7 and that was all...

I used to dream about of how my life would be at 12, 16 and 20.

But now that I´ve reached at least the first two ages life seems so much more confusing than it was before.

And people around me say Im more mature than what my age demands,

that´s why I never fitted when I was a child.

Now it doesn´t bother me at all.

I´ve been trying to learn now that I know who I am how to be 20 in mind and yet live the life of 17.

But future is approaching and it´s doing it fast... and yet I´ve been reminded constantly this past few days that no matter what, I am still too young.

That´s just fine, I like being young,even when almost nothing is clear at that age and probably it is as hard as being an adult. But, who knows? Adults have forgotten and I am still not there.

Sometimes I´m afraid I may result childish for you, you know?

Yet if that happens, I may not be able to make you change your mind...

Language

“There are all sorts of experiences we can’t really put a name to…The birth of a child, for one. Or the death of a parent. Falling in love. Words are like nets—we hope they’ll cover what we mean, but we know they can’t possibly hold that much joy, grief, or wonder. Finding God is like that, too. If it’s happened to you, you know what it feels like. But try to describe it to someone else—and language only takes you so far.”

— Jodi Picoult (Change of Heart)

Not knowing.

Yesterday I cried.

Maybe because I felt sad, maybe because I could not say what I wanted to say...

or maybe because not knowing and getting along with the doubt are things that contradict myself.

Weakness? Fear?

Mostly fear...

But for the first time in my life I´m not afraid of being hurt but of hurting others, for the first time it scares me to death the thought of doing things wrong, of being uncapable of keeping it safe.

But, at the end, not knowing is part of the plan, it is what makes us who we are and allows us to stand where we are...

And it´s some kind of wonderful that not knowing is what makes us strong; it is what gives us the certainty that we´re doing things right, that we will be just fine no matter what the answer may be.

(Lovely images)

In return...

I can still remember that night, I can still feel the tears running down my face as if it was today when

we were sitting on the grass looking up to the sky, you were counting stars.

I stared at you. You with your sparkling eyes and soft figure, you.

Then you turned and looked at me. "What´s wrong?" You asked.

"It´s just that I don´t think you know how much I love you." I said.

"Don´t I?" you answered smiling.

Then, thoughts filled my mind, I couldn´t stop thinking about that... "I must told him."

"I can´t believe" I started "how I could ever live without you, you saved me from myself."

You tried to say something because you saw the tears in my eyes but I held your hand and told you to let me finish my speech.

"Sometimes I feel like I can´t forgive myself for the life I lived before you, for what I did wrong, for giving myself away so many times..."

You wiped my tears away softly and waited for me to catch my breath again.

I continued "And I can´t believe how good you´ve been to me..."

You kissed my hand and wrapped your arms around my trembling body, and there, close to your heart I whispered "And I only hope that in return I might have saved the best of me for you"

Thursday Poets Rally Week 37 (January 13-19) | Jingle