Sunday, February 27, 2011

To touch her.

It was as simple as that.
We were watching T.V, she picked the movie she wanted to watch and we sat on the couch.
It was a French film, a very good one I must say.
We sat close to each other but not without keeping the distance I, like the gentleman I am, consider appropiate for her to feel comfortable.
So the movie went on and we laughed, she almost cried, and in her face the sparkle of surprise and amusement was showing.
Then I thought how wonderful it was to be sitting there with her, how great it was to know that she´s my friend, that we´re part of each other´s life. And when I realized all that, I couldn´t help but to look at her, stare at her and enjoy the view of her small nose, her rose cheeks and red hair.
And then, when the movie was surprising her the most, I gently touched her arm with one finger. She did not notice it. After a while I stopped, I just needed to touch her, I needed to know that she´s real. She´s so beautiful,
she´s so amazing... It´s hard to breathe when she´s near and it´s hard to believe that such a delicate, wonderful flower actually exists and is actually here sitting next to me.

Monday, February 21, 2011


Everything seems to bother me today... the smell of old furniture which pervade the clothes I left on them because I forgot to keep them in the drawer, the flavorless and cold food I´ve been eating for months, the old computer getting broken today, the unfinished books under my pillow, the odd sensation of being in a very small place and yet smelling the scent of loneliness all around the house as if I was in the biggest mansion ever built, the dirty streets with garbage and dog crap everywhere, the small children screaming, the steps of the neighbour upstairs, Molly´s wrath attack; always pecking at me, the mess at the living room, the dishes piled up on the table, the suitcase on the floor, the dusty flat roof, the cardboard over the small bathroom´s trash can, the draft in the kitchen, the walls, the door, the windows, the curtains...

So Im sitting here writting this, crying and saying to myself "I hate this place!"
I feel so childish now that I realize that it´s not really that I hate this place with its old furniture and small rooms...It is not that Im mad because the computer broke down or because I ate badly today, it´s just that this place brings back to my memory things I thought I had forgotten: people and things that hurt me in the past.

This is the place where I spent the worst years of my childhood... and I miss my family, I miss my place, I miss my things. I miss you.
I just wish I could be home right now, I wish this could feel like home to me.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Love never goes out of style...

I heard Nicholas Sparks said once that love never goes out of style...
Since the creation of this world, love has been present, love like God´s love towards us or Adam and Eve.
Every century had it´s own language, manners, customs, ways of dressing and ways of expressing but love has always been there; it has always been shown, and with social and cultural differences, love felt just the same then and now.
Falling in love has always been the closest thing to magic. Love,love...
Primitive love, chaperoned loved, pure love, free love, wild love, self-love,
selfish love, charming love, fairy-tale love,
novel love, sci- fi love, overwhelming love,
romantic love, passionate love,hopeful love, beautiful love,
imprudent love, convenient love, dramatic love,
fatal love,childish love, young love, old love,
true love,
forever love...

Paris Je t´aime. Enjoy!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Sweet words.

With you, I´ve learnt so many things, probably half of the things I know today are because of you.
But one thing I never thought I would learn from you is how different things are when talking about heart issues if you tell them kindly and using the sweetest words that you can use.
It makes me feel safe and confident... protected.
Thank you, daddy.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Highest wish

My highest wish:
To be able to wake up one day, feeling the warm sun waking me up by touching gently my skin and to open slowly my eyes to find nothing but myself in complete peace and knowing that I finally was able to find exactly what I had been looking for: an everyday communion with God. And for me that, is enough... the rest will come later on.

Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.