Friday, April 30, 2010

Beautiful girl.

Yes, you... stop.
Do you trust in me?
So do exactly as I tell, close your eyes for a while.
Don´t be afraid hun, I´ll be taking care of you all along, like I´ve always done.

Now that they are closed, raise your head to the sky,
lift up your arms.

When I count to three you´re going to open those two small and sparkling butterflies placed right above your nose.

Now smile... one, two, three.

Go ahead, don´t feel scared.

See the sky? Wide, blue... and beautiful.
Just like life itself.

Sometimes it is hard for me to accept how fast things are changing,
that I should not be surprised when you´re living
things I´ve lived before...
things I was expecting to happen to you later in time...
not now.

Anyway, we must accept the facts.
We´ve grown up.

Now, take my hand and hold it next to your heart.

You are beautiful, you are smart, you are funny, you are a great person, with great personality.
I´ll be there all the way with you to help you when you need to and to ask
for your help when I need it.

Trust me, trust God, you will make it through

You will be am expetional woman... and I am so honored I am your sister.

"life is short, so learn from your mistakes and stand beside the choices that you make... i know whatever you decide you are gonna shiine" dream theater-the answer lies within

Thursday, April 29, 2010

fine, fine

So, God answers with peace in your heart.
It is about letting Him guide your choices.

So, today was really messed up.
I woke up feeling terrible, I did not sleep well... then I wrote a million things.
Then I realized what I really felt... and now I´ve got a stupid smile on my face again.

Intense... such is life.

So nothing else to say but to thank God... and tell you what I already told you.
Lesson of the day: relationships can not be taken for granted, relationships of all kind are based on trust. That should be the start of everything.



This should not be THIS HARD!
There`s a million easy way outs.
I am not like that anymore.
I take things seriously.
So why do I feel so weird?
This is not about chosing... is about knowing exactly what I need to do according to God`s plan.

And I wish I could stop feeling a hole in my stomach... a strange but sutile pain running through my veins every single time I blink.

I hurt you right? It hurts me.

It should not be like that... is just that I dont quiet know how mend this now.
Never thought it would be this way.

And I`d love to hear your voice... I`d long to hear you say what you think about this.
Cuz I am running out of my mind!

I can not do this alone!
But I have to do it on my own!

I dont care if this time I readyou wrong... it burns me ok?

This have to mean one of two things: Are we meant for each other? If it is,well it is not gonna be the first "problem" or the first person trying to get in between.
Will you quit on me? Will I quit on you?

It is way too soon... never thought this would happen today.

Or does it mean that this is not for us?

If everything happens for a reason... well, what the hell is that REASON?!

This is hard for me... I´ve never been here before... or maybe I am just childish.

The fact is that I feel so many different things that I can`t specify which one is which.

I wish I could know... mom says great things came out from things like this.

Mom and dad came out from a situation like this... we are not mom and dad, but, what if it is true for us too?

And I dont care who reads this or who doesnt... I dont care if they know.

I miss you.

Yes, this time is direct and I dont care!

How can I miss you? I mean... it hasnt been so long.

normally I admit I would go on like this as if nothing happened, I would not care and it would be "just fine"
This time is different. I can not pretend like I dont care, I cannot go on like this and it is absolutly not right.

So.. yes I feel terrible, hope God answers soon cuz Im loosing my patience.

I dont wanna be mistaken, I want to be right...
By the way, I am sorry.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

stupid things

just charge it to my account I hope I havent gone over my limits...
no need to scream and shout... no doubt if men are from mars... i will get to him somehow.
All I wanna do is please you, please myself by living my life too...

And all the STUPID THINGS I DO have absolutly no reflection on how I feel about you.

Yes I feel two feet small.

And this time I admit I dont know what to do.
Somehow, something is wrong... understand I just dont want to mess things up. The fact is that I cant depend on things like this.

I could not sleep either, and I dont know why I feel I should say I am sorry to someone... which? why?

Honesty, honesty.

But... this time I will just let you talk. (cuz I am interested on what you will say.)

(stupid things-jesse mcartney)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Please God... It could be wrong, could be wrong, but it should have been right

She feels a hole in her stomach.
Should have she said that? Should have she done that?

Opened her eyes.
Words were not enough.
Soul spoke again, once again.

This time it was different, but somehow it was the same.

Maybe out of mind, maybe out of control.
The most expressive act i her whole life.

Was it wrong?

She can not be messing around no more.
She just can´t.

God, she thought it was a sign... so what is this other sign.

Wich one is yours?
Wich one is right?

She needs to know.
She needs to understand.
She needs to tell them.
She needs to walk hand in hand with one of this things, could she walk with both?
How does she know she wont be messed up?
How will she know she is right?
She needs to draw some limits.
She needs to decide.
She needs to speak with the truth... maybe if she knew the truth.
She needs to be right.
She needs to stop it.
Or maybe continue it.

"Is our secret safe tonight
and are we out of sight
Or will our world come tumbling down?
Will they find our hiding place
is this our last embrace
or will the walls start caving in?
It could be wrong, could be wrong, but it should have been right
It could be wrong, could be wrong, to let our hearts ignite
It could be wrong, could be wrong, are we digging a hole?"


Sunday, April 25, 2010

And I´ve got your song....what do you got? I dont know where to go from here andI want to say I am sorry but...

(This whole situation is getting out of my control.
And I came here to write it not exactly because I want to be understood, actually, I do not care if people get me here after all, I´d be surprised if someone read it till the end.)

Mommy, I am so sorry that you lost your little childhood brother.
I´d never felt your pain like that before... it was so deep.
I am sorry, I know I speak too much, but I never say the right thing when I need to say it, I never know when the time or the words are right.
Sometimes I am just speechlees, but I love you and if I could make you feel better I´d do it, without restrictions, without a doubt. (But you recovered an old brother)

You...we have a really strong bond even when it has not been a long time since we started to build our friendship.
I´ve known you since I was less than 6, but I never thought I´d get so close to you.
And I know that you´re here for a reason, and I know our friendship is stronger today because of something.
I can not understand why and I am not sure I want to know.
God may have planned this and I know that someday we will understand.
What I know... and I know you know it too can´t be explained to the rest of the world because they would not understand it. You know what I mean?
It is different and I do know what it means at least at this very moment.
I know what it was even when it may look different for others outside this bond.
It was so scary, it was so weird it was so expressive.
Souls... nothing else spoke that day.

Now you want to express it with words. Will you be able? I will be able.
This time words will be flat and cold, because they can not reach the correct phrase as to tell what the soul thinks.

And... I know you need me now. I know you´re under a big pressure this days and you need a friend to support you.
I can do that, I´ve always done that.
But... I need support right now too... I just don´t know if I can handle this.
It is too much for me to take!

And... I´ve got your song. But what do you got from me?

I do not know where to gor frome here.
I am stuck. I can not have both things... I dont want to loose neither of them. I don´t want to mess things up.

And God wants to teach me something from here.
I can not take it! It sounds stupid... but there are so many things that are holding me back because I know I just can´t keep messing around and taking all of them with me on my way.
I know some of them are still on the "we will see" and I want to keep them that way. It is not the right time to unreveal them, but something has been telling me that anyway I have to take a few desicions if I want to keep on going my way.
They may seem like diminute choices, but my a really important part of my future depends on them.

I don´t want to be mistaken... I can´t be mistaken this time.

So I will pray and ask for God´s help.
I will do it again, I will leave my whole life, my heart and my dreams in His hands.
I can not do it alone, and I am really scared, but I know that He will show me the right way.
I will have to learn to walk this path, but if He´s by my side everything will be better.

You... are important for me. And you know you are.
There is something about you I can´t quite figure out, but I am ok that way.
I think we are walking on the right way, besides all the things around us and about us that seem really odd and against the nature, at least my nature.
But I care about you, you care about me.
And I do not really mind about all those things, I do not really mind about wondering about them.
Only God knows where will we be tomorrow.
You should know that no matter what happen or what dont happen, you´ll always be a part of me. :)

So, this post is about many people... I just needed to put it down somewhere so I could ease my mind a little and do what I need to do.None of you need to be a part of this if you dont want to...
I should tell you I am sorry, but I am not. I did it and I think it was right because my reasons where right, you just would not understand. I want to say I am sorry, but I know I´d do it again.

(Write you a song-Plain White´s)
(You and me-LifeHouse)
(Sorry-Daniel Bedingfield)

Friday, April 23, 2010

Good... bad

My mouth won´t be able to explain you what happened, because even if it did, you would not understand.

The sun was high in the sky, and I was feeling sleepy.

Sometimes my brain has some serious difficulties to analyze if something is good or bad.

I know it was not bad, at least for me... but I would not like to be you at this moment.

Because I understand the how, the when and the why, but if I tried to explain it to you, you would probably surprise yourself for how nuts I am.

And...I would not like to hear it either.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Underestimated power

"Writing queen, young and sweet only seventeen..."

Listening to an inner voice that constantly allows you to decline its request
is like a picture being blurred.

Knowing that, maybe the confussion may be a consequence of years of repression
and volutary silence.

Sometimes wishing it could keep itself off... well it might work, it had worked before (if my lucidity still makes me recall past voices).

It was right this time, like it has always been.
Maybe I just mistrusted because I felt I could do its job more wisely.
I was wrong, so wrong.
I am shamelessly predictable... still think there´s a lot of things "I should´ve known better".

You see... I´ve discovered brilliant things because of it.

There is nothing like a cloudy day to enjoy the coldness of this world by facing it with a warm imperfect smile.

There is nothing like climbing up the darkest side of the moon wearing nothing but a
willing skin.

There is nothing like a passing afternoon to delineate the sky with blood red words and ease white souls lines.

Will I ever dare underestimating you?
Would I forgive myself for doing it once again?
You see, I am human.

Observing me under the glass of humanity, I am nothing but a coffee bean getting lost between the aroma of cheaper beverages.
I know I taste good but, will the coofee machine operator find me before my perfection dies?

I believe I do not care if he does or not.
You see, without coffee there would not be a coffee machine operator.
He depends on me.

I can keep on writing heart breaking idolopoeias* sitting straight, staring with dark eyes and dark hair falling like a cascade below my elbows.
Rosy cheeks and gentle hands stained with black ink.

Looking beautiful as I write.

How could I underestimate you?
Would I let myself forget I did?
You see, I am a woman.

I own you, but I owe you... femenin intuition.

Jean Baptiste

*Idolopoeia: Literary figure that consists in placing in a dead person´s mouth a speech or a dialogue.

A break into a pretty normal day.

Stop drawing tiny flowers on the notebook.
Take a look at the board, yes, you already know what they are talking about, nothing new.
You get hungry, well that may mean that your brain is actually working!
Better pay attention to the next class... even French can makethe noises around you more comfortable.

Teacher asked you something, quick! think.
Better say you don´t know "je ne sait pas"

Look around you, I know you don´t really belong here, but you need to stay and make your best to accept others.

Open your world a little bit, I know they dont fit, but they deserve the chance don´t you think?

Look at them, all so sad and some so bored and wonder... what are they thinking about?

"what the hell am I doing here? I dont belong here"

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Some kind of best friend.

I´ve been watching you all afternoon.
I have not moved, but I must admit now that we are here, that indeed I have blinked away once or twice.
I think I´ve never told anyone how beautiful I think you are.
And, let me confess you a secret, your voice hypnotizes me.

Well, I guess it is time now.
I will walk towards you and I am going to sit right in front of you.
Salut Cher! I´ve been missing you all this weeks.

And after all, you are always there for me whenever I found you near to me.

So... are you ready? I incline myself to whisper next to you something I probably never told you: "You´re my best friend hun."

I know you don´t really care, do you? but anyway, you always let me return to you, no matter how much time I´ve spent far away from you.

I know it will take a little time for us to fit again... but, who cares? we still got plenty of time don´t we?

So, here it goes, piano, let me play your keys once again and get lost into the stunning world of music you always take me to.

Linked for One Shot Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Forgotten sensations.

Day after day, since we were born, we discover new sensations.

It goes since the very first day you breathe the air of this world, when you first open your eyes to the light, when you feel your mommy´s fingertips through your small face... to the very first moment when you feel butterflies, when your heart gets broken or when you gave your first kiss.

And some of those sensations become part of your daily life, so you barely notice them, like the taste of water in your lips or the cold you feel when you´re leaving home.

But some of them, even when happened to you more than once, just get lost into a sea of thoughts and past experiences.
They are somewhere under your skin, you´ve felt them before but maybe it´s been a while since something from the outside makes them climb upon the surface of your heart again.

And maybe years pass by and time goes on... but one day, a simple thing can recall those forgotten sensations, like feeling stupid in the sweetest way ever, or getting butterflies... or even sleeping with a smile on your face.

Those moments are worth keeping... those sensations are not meant to be forgotten.

"Like I´ve never been here before"

(You make me feel-Nathan)

Monday, April 19, 2010

Spoiled child

Yesterday I learned more about myself.

When I have an emotional breakdown... specially when it catches me with my low guard I have some issues when it comes to handle small or big problems.

I get mad easily and my eyes water soon also... so when it comes down to a situation like the one that happened yesterday I explote.

Yes, I acted as an spoiled girl and I know I can not justify my behavior, but it helped me to understand something about me:

When I have an emotional breakdown I learn how to cope with it after one or two days, it just takes that time for my brain to figure out the right answer.

And then, I am not weak... but extremely vulnerable.

I have to change that, not because others tell me so, but because I want to change it... but saying it better, I need to control my emotional responses.

I am glad I notcied, because now on I will try to become the one I already am, but in an improved version.

(Thank you for understanding.
Sometimes a song can make you feel protected, so thank you)

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Just let her go...

Death... I am not afraid of dying, but I do everything is on my hands as to prevent it from happening.

But what I am frightened of is of people I love dying.

I know they will be with God if they accepted Jesus, so maybe what I am scared of is of what is going to happen to me without them or how am I going to feel when they leave.

I´ve only lost one beloved one in my whole short life, somebody I met since the day I was born (no exaggeration).

She was an amazing woman, so strong and beautiful and loving.
And I learned a lot from her life because despise her incapacities and her constant pain... and the tragedies of her life, she was always praising the Lord with all of her heart, you would never see her crying or complaining, but smiling and trying to make you feel comfortable.

I wish I could have said to her how much I admire her, how her life changed mine and how much I love her.

I was running out of time with each day that passed, and I knew it.

I was selfish even when I hate recognizing it I must say I could have done more, I could have given her companion... it was all she was asking for.

I could have said something nice or called her once in a while just for her to talk to me about ANYTHING she´d like me to hear.

I could have made her feel special, and part of my life.

I could have stayed with her when she was in pain, I could have read her a book or play a piano piece for her.

I could have done a million things I did not.

And I wish I could have done and said that.

The worst part is that I knew I would feel like that and still I was not able to face my fears.

The fear of not knowing what to say or do, the fear of watching her like that... or maybe the fear of loving her so much and geting so used to her when I knew she was going to leave.

I know you´re better and I am happy for you because you are where you belong, right there next to our Savior feeling no trace of the pain you had here and enjoying your eternal life.

But... I wish I could have told you.

I love you. <3 If I am crying is because I miss you... but I´ll meet you one day.

"You were just running out of time to say what was on your mind... If you can't take the pain of a broken heart, just let her go... ""

(Let her go-Craig David)

Friday, April 16, 2010

For a dear friend who deserved and apology...

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear....

That I am sorry for not being there for you when you needed to, for not noticing how much attention and care you needed... for focusing on my pain and barely think about what you wanted from me.

I am sorry that I let you down, that in some silent way I turned my back on you, that I was so blind as to think that you were just fine, and that I was being a good friend.

I am sorry that I charged your already broken mind with my problems... they did not worth your pain.

I am sorry that I probably made you cry, and for feeling scared and making things in a way that made you think I did not care, and that I did not wanted you around.

I know you walked away, and I know that I deserve it.

I am sorry that I left you feeling angry because "you just walked away" instead of admiting it was my fault.

And finally, I am so sorry that I hurt you, if I could take your pain away... I would.

For: Ivan.

(the reason- Hbs)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

When time stops

When I walk, even when I walk very fast I like looking up at the sky.
I try not to make straight eye contact with people walking towards me... I hate making up stories for them because I know I stare at them (and they notice).

I take more than two sights before I cross the street... I would not like to die today, not yet.

That street is specially crowded, and the cars passing by constantly only make it one of the noisiest places I´ve ever walked by.

But, once in a while... times stops.
And then I know how blessed I am and a smile gets drawn in my face... and I know people stare at me.
Is it so hard to see someone smiling in the street?

I know they wonder why am I smiling... I must look very dumb but happiness makes me forget about them. I just don´t care.

I keep on walking silently knowing what´s going on deep inside my world, and that is all I need for now.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Heart smiling

Have you ever got the feeling, when everything just seems so right at that moment that you can´t help but simply being happy?

Simpliest things can bright your day,like a phone call maybe....

And sometimes, when it catches you off guard, you might feel some kind of breeze inside your chest, like it fills up with life and your heart skips a beat.
Then... your heart is smiling.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Just a cookie :)

So, today I learned something. People will always buy cookies.

And I used to think that I was scared of growing up alone, then I thought it was fear of being vulnerable... now I found out that I may be scared of feeling scared.

And something I`ve always been scared of is of rutine.

Ironic, I know cuz I am someone who has lived its life into routines, that´s just the way I work.

But, sometimes I feel that it might work for me, but when it comes to have some kind of relationship whether formal or not, it is the main reason why they always end up bad.

I am not a very social person though I have all the means to be one.
I am a "regular and normal person", still being social was never my strenght.

People always get close to me and start talking, which is a blessing because if they didn´t it would be probable that I´d never talk to that person.

Yes, I must work that out, because it will make my life easier I have no doubts about it.

So... sometimes I am scared I am being way too much monotonous and even when it might get me bored, usually it bores people before it gets to bother me.

Just a cookie... and the bellyache goes away for a while. (so good I still have loads of them)

Monday, April 12, 2010

Less skeptic :)

There´s still a lot of way until midnight when we will all be able to look at the sky crystal clear with the shining stars... maybe we should say a wish.

Nice to know we´re all under the same moon. To be honest, sometimes it seems a little deformed, too wide and maybe too grey.

I know as certain as the sun will rise next morning that sometimes it might seem that I am weirder than the day before, people must know it is nothing personal.

Days like this, cold and rainy ironically make me feel brighter... and make my waiting less static.

I read a good story today morning, it turned on my imagination, so hours passed pretty faster than usual creating some kind of shortcut for it in my head.
God! I should be a scriptwritter. :)

"Nobody said it was easy" some words are meant to stick right inside your head, "but everything is worth the pain" Coldplay should add this part and maybe the scientist would feel less skeptic.

(The scientist-Coldplay)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

All the right moves.

Sometimes I do realize that deep inside I am a million contradictions.
Sometimes I feel like I have all the answers but still I have nothing figured out.

I also realize that everyone gets scared... funny I remembered because I was talking about it today on my way home with my beloved ones.

But... everyone gets mistaken once in a while and will probably fall into the same mistake twice.

It is part of life.

Sometimes we wish we could know all the right moves but, we must remember that, we don´t and we will never have an idea.

(All the right moves-One republic)

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Human souls....

Yesterday I went to a concert.
And there, I was able to discover once again the power of music.
How beautiful it is and how great it is that it can take you away to another world.

Creating music is one of the greatest things on earth, because it is like screaming out loud to the world not only what you say, but what you think and who you are.

Music is a gift from God... without a doubt.

Music is a little window to human souls... the voice of our hearts.

Congrats Sam!

Friday, April 9, 2010

The most poetic disease.

Well, it isn´t a disease, but I know if some brain surgeon reads this will probably tell me I´m really out of my mind.

I´ve always liked to imagine how beautiful and poetic my life would be if I could see sounds, taste colors and hear figures.

Imagine listening to music and seeing colors all around you playing along with
the sounds.

Or hearing such a sweet melody and actually feel the sweeterness in your lips.

There would be some problems though, I know... but I can´t help myself in wishing I had synesthesia

Thursday, April 8, 2010

at first sight

first watch... then read

It´s kinda funny when you think that maybe, just maybe, someone out there is meant for you.
Someone you may not know... or maybe already know.
Someone who you will be able to fall inlove evrytime you see them, even when years pass by.
Someone you dont need to remind yourself that you love them.
Some one who may be waiting for you and hoping for you to come around.
Someone you´d love to share your life with.
And you dont know when it´s gonna happen, but you´d be happy for that moment to arrive sooner or later.
Because after all, they will fill your heart and make every single step of the path you take be worth the pain only by being there right next to you. <3

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Questions... secrets unrevealed

Lately I´ve found hard to fell asleep because I have a lot of things running through my mind.
By the way things that make me smile :)
(I know you can read me ;) )
And some of those thoughts are not only ideas, but also questions.
And listening to a song I disovered the best definition to what Im feeling right now.

Questions are secrets unrevealed.

Thats why they burn our brains constantly.... but this time... those secrets make me hope for the future... cuz hopefully the answer will make me happy.

(dream theater-anna lee)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

dead poets society

As I said before... words mean something.
They have a social, emtoional and personal background, saying it differently, they have the power to show what we are, to discover the secrets of our hearts.

Having said that, I may tell you that my words and by consequence my dreams and hopes, seem naive to other people.

And... some days when Im not at my best, they even seem naive to me.

After all, who am I? What makes me different? Am I really that different? Or Im just someone extremely young who needs to grow up a lot to discover that my destiny is not that different from any one else´s.

Mediocrity... what if people used to be dreamers and had hopes high when they were younger... but pain, life and routine made them gave up on themselves, conform with the daily activities with nothign else but the necessary items to sustein life: work, money and home.

But as it is said "Poetry, love, romance, beauty... these are what we stay alive for"

Why do people forget? They are important too... maybe not basic but really important.

If those people decided to gave up their dreams to go along with the flow... how can I know that I´ll make things different? That I wont fall into the same?
For some it may be ok. and I respect it, but for me it is just SO NOT FINE!
For me falling into that will mean becoming mediocre... and I dont want it to happen.

Its not that I want to live outside society rules, its just that I would like to make things different and never, never forget about those little issues that makes us human.

"Life is like a poetry... and you one day may contribute a verse, but, what will your verse be?"

People who usually qualify my way of being as naive, stupid or childish may answer to me when I tell them they´re cynic: "Not cynic... but realistic."

Maybe... but when logic and sanity fails... what is left even when improbable, stupid or crazy must be the right answer.

Reality. What if after all we can change reality? Form it with our own hands and live it in a different way?

This world is full ot sane people, but those who are crazy create the worlds where sane people just live.

The crazy ones make music, the sane ones just listen to it.

The crazy ones live life in their own way, sane people just walk the path that´s already been drawn.

"We must constantly look things from a different way" sometimes, it is all that takes to catch a glimpse of our own potencial.

After all, I may be naive, but after all I also dont really care.

"No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas CAN change the world."

So... tell me Im naive, tell me Im small, tell me Im childish, I will sail beyond the sunset one way or another.

(quotations "" dead poets society, everything else is mine)

Monday, April 5, 2010

just because...

The movie`s over.
It was kinda boring.
I did not pay enough attention... I`ve seen in twice.

Im talking with my cousin... Damn, how dare he?

Just kiddin´ I´d been there before.

Now Im thinking that possibly nobody out there would care of what Im doing, saying or thinking right now.

After all Im just someone else who owns a blog who´s alive and writing instead of doing homework.

Hehe... yes I do feel happy.

Nice! Its been a while since I feel this way.

Nice... i repeat.

Kenya! can you stop barking and crying?
Oh you`re so freaking beautiful...

Yes, you can come in.

I stare at the sky... today there are not too many clouds.

Too blueish in my opinion.

It gets me dizzy after a while.

Well... its better than the T.v

So I´ll come by and you´ll exaggerate good times.

Sometimes you have something you take for granted.
Something that was important to you even when you didn´t know it.
And... you lose it.
Sometimes... SOMETIMES it ain´t your fault.
And you miss it soo bad that you became miserable for a while.
You miss it, you want it back, you need it back.

After a while... it stops being that important for you.

Sometimes, SOMETIMES the other person realizes that it was their lost, because they lost something they really had and someone who would never give up on them.

And... only sometimes that person wants you back, needs you back, miss you badly.

But then... it may be too late cuz you no longer need them, no longer want them, no longer miss them.

They become like a simple spot on the way, something that used to be important and something you barely think about.

You cant see them the way you used too.
Maybe they are still the same, but you had changed.
You may have been smarter enough as to move on with your life.

And now that they came begging for you, you realized how much you wanted it... and you wish they had returned before... realize that its too late and feel kinda bad for them.
Cuz in your life there´s no space for them anymore.

You´re happy just the way you are, living the moment... and suddenly the miserable is not you...

Sorry hun, I no longer care about you.

"Cuz I´ve been fine but now you´re finally telling me that you might not be ok, Well I´d guess that anyway.

So i´ll come by and you´ll exaggerate good times. But I wont stay the night."

(stay the night-making april)

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Wake up... such a sigh!
Its around 3:00 A.M
Hope I can sleep again.

Forgot I had a new bed. Now Im nearer to the ceiling. I kinda like it, so white and still.

Even though my foot cant reach it.

Hey! I was trying to sleep... maybe if i stop thinking about all that stuff.

I turn around... no I dont like it this way, maybe if I return to my inicial postition.
Ok, its better now.

What was I thinking? Oh yes, life changes in a blink of an eye.

I never thought this would happen this soon... anyway, what´s a year and a half?
Nothing(i like to believe)

Time passes by very quickly... maybe if I take a day at a time... yes Im gonna do that.

What´s this feeling on my stomach, no Im not hungry... maybe is because Im scared.
Yes I am scared.

Maybe because this time Im finally saying what I wanna say, saying what I mean.

Maybe that´s why Im scared... it gotta be that.

No... maybe because it feels strange.
Maybe cuz I dont really know.

maybe because this time Im different.

What if Im mistaken? (maybe if I could just shut up!) maybe... maybe this time things will be alraight.

because Im a girl...

Such a beautiful story... would someone do somehting like that for me? Would I do something like that for someone?

Friday, April 2, 2010

wait for sleep

"Eyes upon the moon.
She stares at the ceiling and tries not to think."

Have you ever feel like you are just so tired but still you can´t sleep?

Its aweful right?

I always hear in songs and stuff like that "too many sleepless nights" and I used to wonder "Can problems take away your sleep?"

Until I grew a bit older I realized they could, cuz I´ve been sleepless too because of problems.

And... its oh! so easy if we just leave our lives into God´s hands...

(wait for sleep-dream theater)