Thursday, July 29, 2010


Sometimes I may...
I may talk too loud all the time,
and even when you hush me I may not be able to speak lower.
I may forget little things that you mentioned on a phone call,
know that I usually forget details but I do care about what you say.
I may be a naive dreamer,
but my intentions are good.
I may not talk much either with you or with others,
know that is not my main ability.
I may not understand all that you are talking about,
but I want to listen to your stories.
I may cry about a lot of things,
but I am not weak.
I may feel scared about the future,
remember that I am young.
I may make a lot of mistakes,
please understand that I´m still learning.
I may act childish sometimes,
know that Im scared of getting you bored.
I may be loving,
but I also need my space.
I may not talk much about my past,
you know that it hurts me deeply.
I may be too impulsive,
sometimes I can´t stop myself.
I may be vague,
it is because my mind is creating stories.
I may not be smiling all the time,
still I may be as happy as if I was laughing.
I may not have a lot of friends,
maybe with you is enough for me.
I may be pretty,
but I am not arrogant.
I may tell you what I think a million times over,
because for me it is important that you know who I really am.
I may mention God a lot.
you know its because I love Him more than anything.
I may want you to sing all the time,
maybe... maybe it is because I like your voice.
I may write all the time,
it is the way I express myself.
I may always say what´s on my mind
because I never know if there will be a tomorrow.
I may trust you a lot,
but it is not your obligation.
I may like too much when you show me that you care,
cuz even when I say it too much...
I like to show you that I care too.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


OBSESION by The Sconek-T

(Listen to the song as you read and read slowly :))

I woke up at same grotesque place every night...
I can´t stand it...
All those eyes staring at me.
Darkness all around me.
Where am I?

I am not here... I am not here.

Silence! Silence!

The wind, it is colder than I ever thought. It hurts my skin.
Is this blood?

Keep on walking. There must be a way out, right?
If I could only remember how I got here.

How I wish I could see anything human, anything.

I am tired of being here. I dont know anything about this world.
I dont even know where I am standing. Is it grass?
No, it can´t be grass, its thicker. It tastes funny.

And where are you when you were supposed to be here?
You should be here, not me.
And still I keep on paying for your mistakes.
Do you care? Do you remember me?
Did you ever see me?
Did you ever know me?
Did you ever believe I was real?

If you did not... then why would you promised it? Why did you say you´d try?
You said you would dry my tears.
You said we would run away.
You said a lot...
You were lying... you lie all the time...
you lie...

I hate you! I hate you with all that´s left of me!

I made you real, I made you breathe, I made you who you are by letting myself down.
And you sent me here.
You left me here.

But I wont be here any longer.
This is the day were I will leave this hell.
And this hell is like yourself.
Am I trapped inside your mind? Is that it?
So this is why everything looks so sick and disgusting?
Am I standing over your brain?
Am I inside your memories?
And where am I locked huh?

Where did you keep my name?
Where did you send me?
Did you forget me yet?
I wont let you forget me...
You don´t deserve it.
I must be somewhere... and I´ll find myself in this place where you lost me.
You wont forget me... you don´t deserve it.

Does it hurt?
Do you even know what is going on inside your mind?
Are you crying? Well that is me... that is me raking inside your past.
Unrevealing your secrets and letting out those memories you swore you would never ever remember again.
It was a very bad idea bringing me here darling...

I can´t go out.
I can´t breathe.
I can´t...

You should better hide.
I am coming.
I am coming...

Thursday, July 22, 2010


Is it much what I am asking for?
No. I don´t ask for much.

I just want to walk by the street being myself, looking like myself and breathing free.

To be truly free. With no one standing in my way judging me without even knowing me, no more labels.

I wish I could go where it pleases me and don´t feel scared just because I am a woman.
I wish I could show who I am.
I wish that as Anna Frank I could say when Im in the ground watched by a million eyes which in one way or another want to destroy me "I still believe people is good", but I can´t say that.

People is not good.

I am not safe.
I am not "free".
Not when they´re around...

All I ask for is living in a world where being beautiful is not a curse but a simple condition.
Where you can walk on the street without wishing you could hide under a monk disguise or cover your face with a paper bag.

I just wish I could feel less humilated because of what they think and say about me when it ain´t my fault. When I did nothing wrong.
I am just who I am and that should not be a curse.
I just wish people could respect me. I just wish men could respect women...

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


We all keep some details from our past like secrets.
We lock them underground and hope nobody finds them.
And we wish we could forget, but still we are in the need of guarding our chest of secrets day and night, so we are constantly forced to remember our dreadful past.

Would we remember who we are if suddenly the past was erased?
Would we make the same mistakes? 
Would we keep on being who we are?

Talking about mistakes, they play us tricks.
They may appear in our lives like a temptation ready to be biten.
Something that will satisfy us.

Therefore, we fell into it. We bite the apple.
And we are sure there´ll be no need of revealing what we did.
That we´ll get along as usual and that maybe after a while it won´t matter that much.

We may thought we won, that we got away with what we did, but then as somethimes it happens in life, something or someone arrives to our lives changing us and changing the world around us.
There is when we experience that feeling of wanting to give ourselves completely to them.
But there´s something between us and them: our past.

Those secrets we swore nobody would know keep on loafing around our head longing to be spoken, to be exposed, because after all we realize it is the only way of making ourselves free and complete again.
Even when those secrets may take that "someone" or that "something" away from us forever.

"Sitting here stuck on stupid, trying to figure out
When, what, and how I'mma let this come out of my mouth
See it ain't gon' be easy" (My confessions p.2-Usher)

Jones´ love killed me...

Oh! How I love being here where the grass is always green and the sun shines forever.
How I love this smell of nature...
How I love being here with all my beautiful sisters, they are all so stunning!

Ah! here he comes.
The one who cares about me.
The one who always take care of me.

Wait... what is he holding in his hand?
Are those scissors?
Wait... no, no! He´s going to cut me!

Hes going to cut me... he´s going to...

Well, I hope that at least I could be part of somebody´s heart.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Jones...

Boring day at work... as always.
Working at this café gets more boring everyday... people here today are the same that were yesterday.
Like that old lady right at the back, she always gets here at 5:10 and order a capuccino.
I wonder... do people have lives?
Well, look who´s talking...

Hey... that guy has been standing next to that table for at least a decade... sit little guy! Here or there the coffee tastes just the same!!

He seems anxious. He keeps playing with the tablecloth!!
I wonder if he´s waiting for someone, maybe he´s waiting for his girlfriend.
Nope, if she was his girlfriend she would already be here.
Girls in love not usually leave their man waiting.
Or... maybe she´s one of those girls that like to make men wait, as if like that they would respect them more or something.
Ah... I dont understand women!
That´s why I always say that men should NEVER EVER try to understand women, but to love them.

But.. If I was him I would probably leave when I found out she was not there. If not, he is giving her the power over him, which is terrible.
Maybe he´s waiting for a friend or he´ll talk about business with someone important... nah, if he was important he would not be here, he would probably be at "Bistro" all the way down street..

Haha... it can´t be. He´s holding a flower! A red rose! Oh... that is soo typical.
Is imagination overrated or what?
I´d have better bought an orchid, and more because I guess that he really likes her, if not he would have left.
And I believe she is not his girlfriend because he would have called her a long time ago to know where she was or maybe he would have picked her up from work...

I want to know... I´ll ask him

"Can I suggest you our freshly baked bread? or maybe you´d like our..."
He even got scared when I approached to talk to him... ahh poor guy maybe he thought I was her.

"I´m waiting for someone."

Ok sir, whatever...
Ah, yes now Im convinced, he is waiting for "her".

I wonder if she is pretty. I believe she is.

Wow... 6:07
Too late!
Leave guy leave!


I bet he´s about to go.
I think he´ll leave the flower on the table and then silently slip out from here.
I know! I´ll take away the vase so he´ll be forced to leave it right there to the sight of everyone!

No... that´s too mean. I wouldnt like someone to do that to me. Poor guy, his crush did not come, that´s enough bad luck for him.

Wait... there´s a girl standing behind him.
Would it be her?
No, she would have sit and say hello, she´s just staring at him.
It better be her...

Agh, I can´t see her face. I want to know if she is handsome.
Oops... she caught me staring.

Whatever, this is way too amusing as to stop staring...

Indeed! she is the one!
She is indeed very beautiful!

How lucky are the ones who wait with a flower in a hand...


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Me and Mr. Jones

Aghh... stupid boss. Why should HE ask me to stay TODAY to finish THIS stupid report!
I told him I needed to go out at 5:00 o´clock.
Whatever, I should better keep working. Hope I dont get there very late.

Ok... 5:35, I think I can still make it even when I won´t be able to change my clothes.
Should I text him?
God! Calm down! It is not like it was a date! It´s just a friendly cofee.

"Hello young lady, where should I take you?"
"Am... here is the adress, let me see... I had it right here. Here it is."
"Oh... sorry I´m not wearing my glasses..."
"I need to get there fast... give it to me and I´ll read it for you... please?"
"No, no. There will be no need. I can do it. Ok, let´s go, I know exactly how to get there fast, don´t you worry my dear."

What if he does not shows? Ahh! I hate Deny for suggesting me that idea.
Nah! He is not like that, he will come I am sure. After all he was the one who wanted to meet me.
Where did I kept my eyeliner?

"Ah! sir can you drive more carefully? I almost pop my eye out!"
"It will only take a minute!"

No... why is he getting out of the car?What is he doing!? I need to get there in five minutes!
"I dont mean to bother you sir but I really need to get there fast..."

"It´s just that I forgot to check the tires."

Hurry up, hurry up.


Great! I can still make it, after all two or three minutes late is not that bad, is it?

"Im sorry young lady, do you have any tweezers?"
"What? Tweezers? What for?"
"I just need them."
"What is wrong with you! Who would lend you tweezers in this moment? I told you I needed to get there fast."
"If you want to help then lend me those tweezers young lady and stop yelling at me! This generation is oh! so disrespectful."
"Oh! forget it. Where are we?"
"Only two blocks away..."
"I´ll walk from here."

Ah! Could this day be worst?

"Hey! you did not pay me young lady!"
"Here you have! keep the change."
"Oh, thank you. You are so kind..."

Yes, whatever.
Oops... Well maybe I If run...

Im here. But... how will I come in just like that?
I am terrible late.
What if he already left? Wait a minute... there he is.

Should I talk to him and apologize? Or should I just sit down?
Why is that waiter staring at me? Ah! stop it! Why is he smiling? Do I look bad?
Anyway... too late to leave.

"Am I too late? I´m really sorry..."
"No, no, it is ok. I just got here to be honest."

I dont believe him... he looks like he has been here forever!

"Really if you got to leave I´ll understand."
"No! Come sit, how was your day?"
"Really busy, but it is done now so I feel pretty fine. Did you order yet?"
"No, I was waiting for you."

What is that? a flower? Is it for me? Should I ask?
"Is that a rose?" Why did I ask? I feel stupid!
"What? This? Oh yes... well it is for you."
"Thank you."

He remembered I love roses.That is so sweet!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Me and Mrs. Jones

Is it late?
Im almost there... is it too much to arrive 30 minutes earlier?
The flower shop is only two blocks away, I think I´ve got enough time to buy her some flowers.
Wait... did she said she loved roses or that she could not stand that kind of romanticism?
Anyway, I am here now so let´s see.

"Hello sir, what can I do for you?"
"I want some flowers"

Oh God! of course I want some flowers, why else would I be here? Ok, calm down and answer.

"I would like... special flowers."
"For a special lady?"
"Yes, I believe she likes roses..."
"Ah! very classic! Well, today it´s your lucky day because... look, they came this morning. So, how many do you want?"
"A dozen please."

No. What if I look ridiculous waiting inside sitting at that table with a dozen roses? It´s not like Im proposing... it is not even a fancy restaurant, it is just a café!
What if she does not come? Or what if she is leaving a message right now saying that she won´t be able to make it and Im here stupidly buying her some flowers?

"Wait... just one please."
"As you say sir. Here you have, this one is the prettiest. I bet she will like it."
"I hope she does..."

I really do.

Hurry up. I wish she gets here early or I will start feeling nervous.
Hmm... this table is nice, the window is near so if she gets bored she will be able to distract herself looking at the cars and the trees and I won´t feel so bad.

"Can I suggest you our freshly baked bread? or maybe you´d like our..."
"I´m waiting for someone."

What time is it? 5:58
Please, please... come.
I think I would not be able to forgive you if you leave me waiting...
I think it would be better if I stop looking at the door.
If she comes it is ok, if she doesn´t then it will be fine, I´ll walk out, throw away this rose and walk home.
That´s it.


I wont wait any longer than this, people are staring. I bet they are saying "Look, that poor guy is waiting for someone who won´t come"
I´ll pretend Im going to the bathroom and then I´ll slide to the door. I hope nobody notices me.

6:11 That´s it. Let´s go home stupid guy.

"Am I too late? I´m really sorry..." When did she came in?
"No, no, it is ok. I just got here to be honest."
"Really if you got to leave I´ll understand."
"No! Come sit, how was your day?"
"Really busy, but it is done now so I feel pretty fine. Did you order yet?"
"No, I was waiting for you."

"Is that a rose?"
"What? This? Oh yes... well it is for you."

She´s smiling. That is awesome!

"Thank you."

Her eyes are sparkling... how I wish I could tell her right now, right here how much I love her.

( Wait for part two tomorrow... or maybe on monday (: )

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Great fun...

My dear friend... My new friend.
How come we got here?
Who would have said... we knew each other, but, I believe we never really saw each other!
But one day... you saw me and I fell.

Music, music, music. Shame on you music! it was all your fault.
And you thought it was special, you thought it would happen, but...

Baby, I am sure...

Hmm. A 1, 1, 2, 3, 4...

It was just one of those things
Just one of those crazy flings
One of those bells that now and then rings
One of those things...

Was it your ego what made you believe I´d stay?
You said you were not leaving "everything" for "nothing".
With "nothing" you meant "me"...
I could not pretend that you were not threatening to me.
l needed my space...
I'm not lying, I valued survival over you.

If we'd thought a bit about the end of it
As we started painting the town
We'd have been aware that our love affair
Was too hot not to cool down...


So good-bye and amen
Here's hoping we'll meet now and then
It was great fun
But it was just one of those things
One of those things!!!

Sorry you thought it would be more than that. ;)

(Fictional story. Adapted from "One of those things-Jamie Cullum" and "Sorry -Daniel Bedingfield")

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I think Im going nuts....

Jump! Jump!

Run as an idiot inside my house.

Run in circles.


Laugh out loud with no reason!

Talk to myself.


Sunday, July 11, 2010


What a lovely woman born in 1948
living everyday with a smile on her face.
Going thru life sitting on her wheelchair
What seemed a curse was only a blessing to her

She may have missed a lot for not being able to walk 
but all this time she knew that she was never alone.
She spent her life always thanking  God.
Maggie´s gone, but she´s with the Lord.

What a beautiful example of joy and strenght 
never complained of the pain that she felt
always trying to help others instead of herself
and never looking for someone to blame.

Angels heard the news yesterday:
That brave amazing woman is on her way
Heaven sang and the sun shone today...
For this day and ever God will comfort her.

Her whole life is a taste of God´s love 
another fight, another battle won
Oh! Maggie´s happy, she´s with the Lord
and she´ll live in my heart for this day and on.

(We all miss you...)

Friday, July 9, 2010

That´s life

See? Im not the only one haha. Nice song Michael Bublé! that s why I love you <3
That´s life
(Don't let it get you, don't let it get you down

For this world keeps on spinning 'round)

That's life

That's what all the people say

You're riding high in April

You're shot down in May

I know I'm gonna change that tune

When I'm back on top in June

I say that's life

& as funny as it may seem

Some people get their kicks

Stompin' on your dreams

But I don't let it, let it get me down

'Cause this fine ol' world keeps spinning 'round

I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,

A poet, a pawn & a king

I've been up & down & over & out

But I know one thing

Each time I find myself, flat on this face

I pick myself up & get back in the race

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Wiih woo wohh

We were supposed to meet...
There´s a wide blue sky above our heads... and no matter what people say, this world is big.
People and places in our past where we thought we were part of.
We did not belong there.
Words and names, all surrounding us.
All the steps we took before we got here with no idea... they would leave us here.
This is it. Another step in the way to find our place in life.
Could it be we DO belong here now?
In this things there´s no telling... you know the rest.
Wiih woo wohh!

(In my life....)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Take a look inside.

If someone could look under our skin they would find an external layer of lies and sugar masks; but if they took the time to look very underneath, they would find the truth tied to our very bones.

There, the answer of where we came from, which are our secrets and who are we lies.
There would be no protection. 


But, when you know you hide a truth... an universal truth which longs to be spoken, which need to be heard, then you have to think twice about keeping it all for yourself.
So the chance arrived from me.
I have the opportunity to stand up, for my voice to be heard... but Im afraid.
Im not sure if I can handle exposing myself to so many people who thought they knew me.
To expose the truth of who I used to be and the reason of who I am now.

Will I be strong enough as to swallow my tears and fears and share my truth?
Am I ready?

Who´s ever ready?

Monday, July 5, 2010

We all want to change the world....

I´ve been called a dreamer.
I´ve been called naive and childish
so often that sometimes I feel those words as part of me.
The truth is... I am none of them.
"Dreamer" is commonly used to describe someone who dreams about unfeasible things.
I do not fit there.

My aim is straight, my legs are still strong, my heart is still beating.

But... the fact is that... we all want to change the world.
What we not always realize is that we are not even able to change our own world.

I can count about 10 people who made a real difference -at least for a while- in the world... are they so different from us?
Is there any weird gene in them that we dont have?

In a smaller or bigger way...
We all want to change the world....