Wednesday, March 31, 2010

In this things there´s no telling we´ll just have to wait and see.

We always make plans. No matter how "spontaneous" we are we can´t stop making plans.

Most of the times we plan what we NEED to do, not really what we WANT to do.
And it´s ok.

But, when we plan what we want to HAPPEN sooner or later in the future, there´s the chance things go wrong or at least in a way we didn´t planned.

Nothing in really certain.

So, what if we make our plans and spend time and energy aaaand dreams in the meanwhile working for it to happen, and suddenly things go wrong!

Mom always tells me that if our plans are ok with God´s plans then in a way or another it will happen when the time is right.

And she´s so right!

Right now, even when I say I don´t, I do have some dreams and hopes and plans for my not so far future.

Maybe it won´t happen the way I want it to happen... but if God wants those things to happen for me then they will.

In this things there´s no telling... we´ll just have to wait and see.

(but how I´d love them to happen (: )

p.d(so after all... maybe Im a fan of that song you know who! )

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

take it back...

Something sad about human relationships is that mostly once you´ve done or said something wrong it changes the whole thing forever.

Words... words are not only words, they mean something, they include feelings and dreams, thoughts and intentions.

So, when we say something, even if we dont mean it, it does mean something for the person who hears it.

We can twist our words in such a good way that we can make people believe in what we are saying, even when it might be such a big lie.

But, what we say and what we think are not always related.
Sometimes we just can´t find the words to say what we feel.

So, we can say a lot good things, but a bunch of mean things too.

Words have the power to destroy, I mean the whole Hitler thing started when the guy talked for the first time!

Anyway I was talking about emotional damage.

More than once we stab others with our simple words, and most of the times we do it on porpouse, and when it happens the best thing that occurs to us to say is: Im sorry.

And in some way the apology is the best thing we can do, even when deep inside the other person wants you to take it back.

But... saying Im sorry not always means we take back what we said.

In my opinion saying "I take it back" is the most stupid thing somebody can say because the fact is that once our words were spoken, there is no turning back.
The damage is already done and saying you take those words back can´t change it.

I hate it when sombody tells me they take it back... cuz they CANT!

No matter how willing you feel to forgive the other, what they say will leave a mark in your life forever, because after all those words hurt you.

(undiscovered-ashlee simpson)

Monday, March 29, 2010

´Cuz two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

"Got a secret... can you keep it?
Swear this one you´ll save... taking this one to the grave."

Secrets... I guess they were not meant to be kept.
Think about it for a while, there must be at least two secrets that you were supposed to keep but instead you spread it.

It´s like when we are told a secret it burns our brains because maybe we just can´t handle the fact that we know something others don´t.
And this days knowing means being powerful.
So, when we know something others don´t we feel secretely powerful, but there´s no use in knowing that secret if others dont know you know.

Maybe that´s why we tell.
Of course, there are a lot of other reasons for our indiscretions.

Maybe we tell because we´re cruel, because we´re dishonest, because it will be fun, because it destroys somebody else... or maybe just because we want to.

At the end, if we tell someone a secret, we know our risks.
We know that they will probably tell, maybe not to everyone but at least to someone who may tell another and so on.
So... why do we tell secrets?

Secrets are not meant to be between two people, they are meant consume only to their owners and nobody else.

´Cuz two can keep a secret if one of them is dead...

(secret-the pierces)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

So important...

So, I was asking myself... when do you start being important for someone?

When you say something interesting?
When you blink twice to them?
When you do something nice for them?

Maybe it is when you say something or do somethin that represents an opinion or an action that may change their own opinion or even their lives.
Maybe when something yours become a part of them... something they get used to or want it to be with them, maybe then we are important for them.

But... what Im just so confused about is, when does someone starts to be important for you?

I used to think I knew... but the fact is that Im not sure anymore.

And what when someone starts to be important for you without your knowing?
Something you cant stop... something that started just because.
Does it means anything?

(Sparks : So Important )

You´re beautiful... it´s true.

Beautiful... what does it means anyway?

They say it is a matter of opinion, some say there´s an established steriotype.

Im not blond, I dont have blue eyes and Im not tall either... does it means Im not beautiful?
I don´t think so.

For some I may be the most beautiful girl they´ve ever seen, I may be a regular kind of beauty or I can also be ugly.

But... the fact is that we can´t keep on talking about beauty because is such a relative adjective.

I will tell you something that is without a doubt more than beautiful:

The sunset.
Have you ever looked at the sky for more than two minutes? Its just so wonderfull, the blue or the grey combined with the sun or the moon & stars, the clouds.

Its just AWESOME!

I can´t say I know the exact meaning of beautiful, but I know the meaning of gorgeous cuz when I look at the nature I can say: You´re more than beautiful... it´s true.

(*Beautiful-James Blunt)

Friday, March 26, 2010

I don’t know where I’ve been... but I know where I want to go

It´s been a while since I first woke up knowing that something had changed.
I realized that I was no longer scared of growing up.

I knew I would keep falling, but I felt stronger than ever as to know that I would always stand up with God´s help and some important people.

I knew people would leave, but some others would arrive.

I looked at myself in the mirror that same morning. I saw my clean face, no make-up, no hairdone... just the simpliflied version of me... and I LIKED IT!

I felt kinda free, no mask hiding my real beauty, my spirit feeling so pure.

I felt alive and so exited about life.

And I know... that I am small.
But who isnt? I mean, I know I still have a lot to learn, but even older people can learn a lot from me.

Its a never ending process, and I simply love it!

I felt so willing to love someone with all of my heart, even when I dont know who he will be.

I wanted to run outside and breathe the fresh air... feel it filling my young lungs.

All I wanted was to scream to the world : I am here!!! and I´ll do great things with my life.

Im not saying I´ll become next president or that I will discover a new element... Doing great things with my life means Im gonna live my life to the extreme but in my own way.
For some people my life may seem boring, for some it may be meaningless... but I know that at the end of my days I´ll look back and say Well played.

How do I know?
I just do.

So I will laugh, I will love, I will scream, I will cry, I´ll fell inlove, I´ll sing, I´ll write, I´ll be the happiest person ever.

Because I dont know where I´ve been... But now I do know where I want to go.

And I hope you can be part of it. Would you?

("First day of my life-bright eyes")

Thursday, March 25, 2010

There are things we can't recall, blind as night that finds us all...

How many times I woke up thinking about you...
Thinking about the pain I felt in my heart.
That pain, how can I describe it? A deep cold shiver pressing your chest so hard that you can hardly breathe.
It is funny when I realize I´ve only felt that pain twice... I felt it because of you and because of someone who did not worth it.
Im not going to talk about him, because he is not important to me as you were.
But it is funnier when I think Im sitting here waisting my afternoon writing something that you will never read.

I´ve never had problems expressing myself when I write... but it seems like I cant even start to write about how much you hurt me.
I mean... you broke my heart, and it only took you four words to do it.
How could those lips that used to give me strenght and hope suddenly pronounce those four fatal words?

They left you lips softly and flied through the phone until they got to my aching ears.
Because oh! I forgot to tell you that your words unconsciously stabbed me too many times before that deadly phone call.

I must confess I still draw a sad smile in my face when I remember how many times you walked away.

You were always so full of life, so full of joy, so full of dreams.
And I was always there supporting every single step you took.
When you came undone... who did you look for? Oh, I guess you forgot for a while.
The sad thing is that, no matter how hard I tried I could never be part of your dreams, part of you.

Why did you always left me outside from everything?

I guess I had too many expectations about you, because, you see... that is what I do. Im like that, you should know that by now, i guess you just didnt pay enough attention.

Wow... my hands still shiver while Im thinking aboout those words I´d love to bury 10 ft. underground.
I wonder... can you remeber what you said?
Because I can, and the words still sound like they did that February night.

I can remember I told you how I felt, I tried to tell you that you were hurting me badly, but you didnt listen.
You kept on talking about that person who did the same thing to you over and over again, and about how much she hurt you.
You were dying for her to come around... and I was dying to save us.

I can not believe how selfish you were that night.

Ok, here it comes.

I have to write it! I must take this out of my system... I have to tell the world what you said to me.
You said "She is my dream"

So darling, there are too many things I usually forget.
I always forget where I left the keys, I forget to do my chores, I forget about my favorite song... I forget feeding my dog. But those words I cant forget.

There are things we can´t recall, blind as night that find us all... and I wish I couldn´t recall the way you turned your back on me, the fact that you were my best friend, the one I trusted the most.

I cant forget it, and probably I´ll never do. That´s why this is my farewell letter darling.
This is my last goodbye and I am still the queen.

(passing afternoon-iron & wine)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

images licences

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