Alibi

(A re-post from months ago I wanted to share.)

Submerged voluntarily into a deep sea of confusion,
having nothing left but a narrow way out.
Holding my breath as I fight to death with my memory;
Useless memoirs... I can´t remember when it happened,
and I can´t structure any lame excuse to explain the "why".

I agreed to say it was not planned, that it simply happened and I believed it.
But indeed I had thought of the possibility, of the minimum effort it would take me to get us to the exact moment of anxiety revealed.

I smelled it from miles away, the danger was there since the very beginning: passionate personalities, time words and music, lethal dose.
I tasted it, I could enjoy its flavor burning in my lips, and yet I took possesion of the time, filled the environment with sweet feminin scent, dazzled my victim with innocent looks and moldeated my words in my hands to make them sound how they were supposed to sound.

My head high, it was my moment, my chance to prove myself something I´ve always known.

I am not guilty to the eyes of the world, confession would come too late...
I made my point, I made my move, I played somebody else´s game under my rules not by cheating, just by having the winning hand since the very start.

Would it be too much taking the whole credit if I say I manipulated every little detail?
Would it be too much considering myself as an artist if I describe the beautiful scene I stole from a song? I improved it, I created a movie scene.

I fell too, wheter I like to admit it or not.
Controled myself by loyaly following the script my well trained mind wrote.
So maybe after all the move was not completely mine, I may have left some spaces uncovered... or maybe I knew I´d love to let myself get lost into the moment.

I had prepared the stage, the lights were on, the script was memorized... I deserved to enjoy the play.
My job was done and it was fair enough to take my prize home.

The decisive moment arrived... staring, staring, staring.
Proximity felt different than what I expected.
Shivers were not agressive this time, they did not creep upon my skin, they climbed to my spirit, my soul.
It was a walk on the clouds, a blue landscape, a soft lullaby, a non burning sun, a non ticking clock, a water embrace.
Fullness ran through our veins.
We tried to take it out of our system only by taking more of it with every breathe.

By recieving an unexpected sensation, the script and everything else turned useless and less formal than what the moment required.

I closed my eyes and let myself follow my senses, no rules, just pureness.

Pureness, no evil thoughts, just tenderness.

Souls spoke, a higher level our brains couldn´t understand.
A symphony with unreachable notes and colors.
Just what it was: an instant.

The song was over, no more notes to perform.

The curtain was down, the characters became real, the script was burnt, my argument was proved, the main part was shared...

but the theatre was empty.
No one to witness my glorious victory, no one to testify my tender defeat... the secret our to keep.

Submitted to One Stop Poetry