Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I am still here.
It feels like I am 100 years old,
since I came here, since this started
it seems like everyday that passes adds to our faces a whole decade.

Children are no longer children,
Girls are not supposed to walk around in circles as if they did not care about what they did to them.
Boys are not supposed to stay awake all night trying to figure out how will they scape from the gas chamber tomorrow.
We were supposed to see them running under the blue sky, we were supposed to hear them laugh and watch them grow up, not becoming old. It is not the same.

Here, everyday it's like hell itself.
At night we can not even sleep with all the memoirs of the beloved souls we lost during the day.

Here everyone is like your brother,
we suffer the same because we lost our souls too...
so everytime one of us parts from this world, we feel joy in our hearts because
their earthly pain stopped.
What we cry for is because of the way they died.

Families here were broken, now our bonds are way further than just blood. We no longer care where they came from, what was their profession, if they were rich or poor, if they are handsome or ugly, fat or skinny.
Here appearances are so not important.

And I keep on remembering how we used to care too much about stupid things,
people out there does not really know what was going on in the ghetto,
people out there are still probably worrying about what they will wear tomorrow night so that "someone" may look at them, or so people notice how wealthy they are.
Getting mad because it is raining and they have to stay at home all day long.

If I could just go somewhere, anywhere I could call home.
Out of here.

Sometimes I am afraid I won't leave this place.
Deep inside I know I will die in a gas chamber or because of starvation,
but they say hope should be the last thing you lose.
Who ever said that probably never imagined this would happen.

In this place, death odour fills our lungs every single day, and hope
never comes around.
Hope is for people outside here, for us it is like a fairytale that will never
come true.

I can still listen to the heartrending screams, even days after they died... they are still here.

Yesterday I saw for the first time the soap they make with our bodies, and I wonder
how can someone use that?
Cleaning your body with some innocent death body, with a soap made of a human soul, made by hands full of blood.
Could they? Will they know?

Do you want to know a secret? Nobody here knows it.
But due the fact that I don't know you, it does not really matter...
Before they brought me here, I was about to get married.
I even had the dress... Oh God how much I loved him!
A week after we came here, I saw him die.
He is gone, forever gone.
So I realized, people are not really yours, they belong to the nazi.

They keep playing God... and we are just who we are: human beings that forget what the word truly means.

We don't know who we are anymore, they took our essence away, they killed us even when our hearts were still beating...

(No more reasons to write this but that my poor messed up head can not take by itself that big amount of cruelty hidden behind human faces... As long as we can remember and somehow understand the pain they felt, we can try to do something so this never go on again... nobody deserves that, nobody. *p.d I am not jew)


steveroni said...

I commented May 4 before this (May 3) and that was a mistake--grin!

How is there any reason (of mankind, or of God) which can answer the holocaust?

I only see the work of Satan here, and usually that opens up debate--because many Peeps believe there is no such thing as evil.

Those who died in such (holocaust) circumstances MUST be saints--or I will resign from creation-grin!

Bananii said...

I know! that cruelty can not be product of one man's words... I mean, so much evil must have some kind of background... and the brain in this situation, well we both know who is that.

Oh... I know, I hate those debates.

Enchanted Oak said...

I've popped in because I saw that you were reading my blog. I chose this post to comment on.
You show enormous imagination. I'm very glad you're writing. I don't know anything about you, but I know that writing is going to take you somewhere. It has already taken you somewhere: into the mind of a death camp resident. And other places as well. Good work.

Jingle said...

sad, shocking sadness...
Sorry that one has to go through the loss...

very powerful or compelling piece.
beautifully written.

Jingle said...

Thanks for linking up...
Happy Tuesday!
Happy Monday Poetry Potluck!

your support is appreciated.
Glad to learn a piece of you.

Kristen Haskell said...

Amazing how you captured the emotions so well in this piece. I swear the sky got darker when I read this. We should never ever forget this and pray to God that we can prevent this from happening again. I just wonder if we can?

Lu Ann said...

Kristen: Thank you very much. I also agree that this muste never ever be forgotten and yes, of course, we must pray to God, but I am wondering the exact same thing... Can we?